All too common... A guest post from the "body positive parent"

Photo credit: Jade Beall Photography

I am BEYOND excited to be sharing this guest post from a lovely friend and the incredible brains behind "The Body Positive Parent". When I read this it literally brought a tear to my eye, mainly because I could really relate to how she felt and I'm certain so many of you can relate as well.

You can follow "The Body Positive Parent" on tumblr where she shares her thoughts on body image, her experiences as a Mum and how she's raising her girls in a body positive household. You MUST go and check out her blog, she's super Mum who has a way with words and is such an inspiration!

ALL TOO COMMON

I didn't know I hated my body until I had my daughter. My body was always not right, never good enough, just another thing to work on. I would fall asleep at night and dream of my perfect body, smooth skin, long lashes, tall legs, flat stomach, the list went on and on until I fell asleep. 

I knew how to stand in photos to minimize my size, how to smile without showing my teeth, what to wear to hide my problem areas. Complements were fended, dodged and shot down like space invaders. If one landed, if I was to believe anything good about myself then it would be “game over”. 

Then I got pregnant. My body was even more highly scrutinized. I was too small, my baby was too small. My body still wasn't good enough. I needed to slow down, but I didn't know how. I wanted to be the perfect pregnant woman. At one with her baby. At peace with her changing body. Loving creating life, serene, an earth mother, a fertile goddess. I was none of those things. I was sick, anxious, tired, and moody. Instead of evoking an air of the Venus figurines the art I most connected with was "The Scream". 

Then she was born. My body still wasn't right. Breastfeeding was hard, painful and stressful. Everything hurt. My child was happy, healthy and loved, but I wasn’t. When a plane is going down they say to put your oxygen mask on first, then help your kid. I firmly attached her oxygen mask, and forgot about my own. She was thriving while I was gasping for breath. 

Then I crashed. I saw that I couldn't raise my daughter to love herself if love wasn't spoken around her. If the first role model of womanhood was one of self-hatred and fear. So, I let go. I stopped caring about what my body looked like. I stopped stressing about good and bad food. I stopped consuming body-shaming media. I stopped judging other people and what they looked like, what they ate, how much space they took up. I eat what feels right, I move in ways that please my body. I found compassion for myself and for others. I learnt about privilege and saw just how easy my life was compared to others and how my body affords me many comforts that are denied to so many. I vowed that I would be an example of radical self-acceptance for my daughter. 

It isn't easy. I'm swimming upstream against diet culture, fitspiration, objectification and exploitation. Our social currency seems to be based on deciding who has a good or bad body. My bank is empty, but I am richer for it. In our house we praise tenacity not weight loss; we complement empathy more than physical appearance. We celebrate diversity and we say “I love you” a lot. Best of all, I don't just say it to my daughter, but to myself, and I mean it.

- The Body Positive Parent

RECIPE - Tomato Soup with Homemade Bread

It's quite cold on the farm at the moment so I wanted something warming to eat for dinner tonight. I have always had a thing for tomato soup so when I came across this recipe on my hunt for comfort food I knew I had to give it a go. 

The recipe comes from Martha Stewart and I basically followed exactly what the recipe stipulated but I just added a bit of sugar to take the slightly bitter edge of the tomatoes off and I also doubled the recipe to make sure there was plenty for Hubby and I.

The end result was pretty tasty even if I do say so myself!

Tomato Soup

Ingredients

- 1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil
- 1/2 small yellow onion, diced small (1/4 cup)
- 1 small garlic clove, minced
- Coarse salt and ground pepper
- 1 can (14.5 ounces) whole peeled tomatoes, torn
- 1 tablespoon heavy cream
- 1 tablespoon sugar (or to taste)


- In a small pot, heat oil over medium-high.

- Add onion and cook until translucent, 5 minutes.

- Add garlic, season with salt and pepper, and cook until fragrant, 30 seconds. Add tomatoes with juice and bring to a boil.

- Reduce to a simmer; cook until onions are soft, 15 minutes. Transfer to a blender ( I used a stick blender) with cream; puree until smooth. (Use caution when blending hot liquids: Remove cap from lid and cover opening with a dish towel.) Season to taste.

I knew tomato soup on it's own would not be enough to fill our tummies, so what better accompaniment to soup than homemade bread? Before you ask, "who's got time for that?", it's actually really quick and easy and takes very little time and effort to do. I found the recipe on www.food.com, it worked a treat!

Homemade Bread
Ingredients

- 5 cups white all-purpose flour
- 2 tablespoons yeast (or 2 x 7g pkts)
- 2 tablespoons sugar
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 2 cups warm-hot water
- 1⁄4 cup cooking oil


- Put 4 cups of the flour, yeast, sugar and salt into large bowl.

- Pour in hot water and oil and mix until combined- it will be sticky.

- Add the remaining flour in increments until dough is no longer sticky.

- Knead for about 5 minutes until dough is elastic and smooth.

- Place dough back into bowl and cover with a damp teatowel and let it rise until double its size- about 1/2 hour.

- Punch it down and divide dough into two pieces.

- Roll pieces long enough to fill two well oiled loaf pans and leave to rise until dough has reached the rim of the pan.

- Bake at 400F for 40 minutes.

- Rub hot breads with water and wrap in a teatowel to 'sweat' to soften the crust.

ENJOY!!!

Favourite childrens books

I am a HUGE book reader. I could literally sit all day reading a book, until it was completed - in fact, before child, I loved nothing better than doing just that.

I think reading is hugely important and I want to encourage Ella to enjoy reading just as much as I do. Obviously, at the moment she is too young to appreciate it or enjoy snuggling up and getting lost in a story - she's much more interested in eating the pages.

When she does though, there are so many books I can't wait to read to her. Some of which are the very same books I enjoyed reading in my childhood.

I have compiled a list of my favourites, that I recommend you check out!

1. "Guess how much I love you?" by Sam McBratney

The classic feel good, warm fuzzies book. A story of a parent and child describing their love for each other. It's such a beautiful story with a beautiful message and one that I could read to Ella over and over again.

2. "The very hungry caterpillar" by Eric Carle.

Another classic children's book, one of which I very clearly remember from my childhood. The vibrant colours are what appeals to me most, that and the memories of how much I enjoyed reading it when I was little. A story of a caterpillar who is, like the title suggests, very hungry.

3. "The Gruffalo" by Julia Donaldson.

A beautifully written rhyming story about a brave little mouse scaring away his predators with the threat of "The Gruffalo". I love reading this book, it has a beautiful message with beautiful illustrations to match.

4. "Grandpa's Slippers" by Joy Watson.

I loved this book as I child mainly because I think it reminded me of my beloved Grandfather, who passed away when I was 11. It doesn't really have any particular message behind it, just a feel good story about a Grandpa and his attachment to his slippers - because we all know Grandparents are the best right?

5. "Where's Spot?" by Eric Hill

Another throwback to my childhood. I've always been an animal lover so this book appealed to me for that very reason. And even better? It's a lift-the-flap book! Exactly as the name suggest, we're on a mission to find Spot!

6. "Hairy Maclary from Donaldson's Dairy" by Lynley Dodd

A classic Kiwi book series that I'm pretty sure most Kiwi kids have grown up reading and loving! The adventures of Hairy Maclary and his friends has to be one of my all time favourites to read as a child. I'm determined to collect the whole set for Ella. She's already showing signs of loving animals so I think she would love the Hairy Maclary books.

7. "The very cranky bear" by Nick Bland.

A recent discovery for me but it's quickly become a favourite. With the STUNNING illustrations and cute storyline, it's a definate must-have! About four friends, Moose, Lion, Zebra and Sheep who stumble across the cranky bear when playing in a cosy cave and decide to try and put a stop to his "crankiness".

8. "The rainbow fish" by Marcus Pfister

A beautifully illustrated book, with holographic details, about a beautiful fish that ends his loneliness when he learns to share with others. This is another book I enjoyed from my childhood. The rich colours are what appeals to me,  that and the lovely message of friendship and sharing.

There you have it! My favourites and some big classics!

Let me know what some of your favourites are - I'm always on the look out for new books to add to our collection!

How to prepare for Motherhood...

So, how do you prepare for Motherhood?

Hah. You can't. It's impossible.

If you are looking for an enlightening or practical insight into how you best prepare yourself for impending parenthood, then I'm sorry I can't help you.

I've been doing this Mothering business now for just over 8 months and I still can't work out the answer to this question. That's the thing. There is no answer. Nothing I, nor anyone could say to you could possibly prepare you for the responsibility of being a Mother. There is no written instruction manual and certainly no right or wrong way of doing it. There is nothing you can do, before having a child, that can prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster that is parenthood - and no, raising a puppy does not even come close.

Someone told me once that being a parent was the hardest thing they'd ever done. Back then, before child, I really didn't fully comprehend what that meant. I smirk now though when I think back to those days and remember thinking at the time "Really? It can't be that hard, right?" and "People do it all the time and sometimes multiple times, so it can't be that difficult surely?". Holy crap was I naive.

I thought when people told me these things they were just trying to scare me. Trying to put me off having children but in reality they were just being honest. Because, in all honesty, at times it's fricken hard. Without a shadow of a doubt it is the most difficult, life changing thing I've ever done.

I thought I was exhausted before having Ella, when I was pregnant with her, but now she's here there is no comparison. When I complained about not being able to sleep or not being able to function on little sleep there is NO comparison to the permanent exhaustion when you actually have the baby. 

I know it sounds like I'm being condescending or scaremongering but in reality you actually don't know what it's like to have a baby until you have one. 

When it's one of those days where your baby's been grizzling all damn day or nothing seems to satisfy them and they're just NOT sleeping - there is just no getting away from it. Not only this but

they COMPLETELY rely on you for everything. You are the sole responsibility for ensuring this little person is fed, watered, clothed, nurtured and brought up to be a well rounded, confident and pleasant human being.

The weight of this responsibility is huge. It can be so daunting. There are days when I'm like "what am I doing?" and "am I doing this right?" But in reality there is no right answer or right way of doing it. It's completely trial and error, with a little bit of maternal instinct and finger crossing thrown in.

So, you may ask where is this blog post going? How do you ACTUALLY prepare for Motherhood?

Im sorry, but again, you can't. 

I guess what I am trying to say is that although you can't prepare for what being a Mother involves at the end of the day none of the stress, uncertainty or exhaustion matters. Because, no matter what Motherhood (or baby) throws at you and after all the tears, exhaustion and tension headaches. It does get better. After a thundercloud comes the sun and when that sunshine comes out - it's glorious.

The laughter, the smiles, the cooing and the chattering, the growing, the learning and that delicious baby smell. When those eyes light up if you enter the room or when you're treated to the biggest mega-watt smile - in that moment, it's all forgotten.

The rush of overwhelming love you have for that little human being makes every single damn tantrum and grizzly day 100% worth it.

So, if you are preparing for Motherhood all I can say is...

Welcome to the emotional rollercoaster. It's life-changing, overwhelming and amazing. No one tells you this but, it's ok to not "like" your child at times it doesn't mean you don't love them with all your heart and soul, it just means that you are human and that being a Mother is tough! It's also immensely rewarding and worth every single minute. Don't forget - it get's easier and everyday is a new day!

NEW RECIPE - Honey Sesame Chicken with Rice

I'm obsessed with any form of sticky, honey, teriyaki style chicken. Generally, I just use the packet stuff you buy at the supermarket - because it's easy - but last night I decided to try and make my own. This recipe I found over on Chef-in-training was super quick and really tasty! I will totally make this again. Although, I would probably add stir-fry veggies (which I didn't have on hand) and sesame seeds - which the recipe calls for but didn't actually have in the cupboard!

Slow-cooker Honey Sesame Chicken with Rice

Ingredients:

-1kg boneless, skinless chicken breasts (I used thighs, as it's what I had on hand and worked fine)

- 1 Cup Honey
- 1/2 Cup Soy Sauce
- 4 Tablespoons Diced Onions
- 4 Tablespoons Tomato Ketchup
- 2 Tablespoons Canola or Vegetable oil

- 2 cloves of garlic minced

- 1/2 teaspoons red pepper flakes

- 4 teaspoons cornflour dissolved in 6 teaspoons of water
 - Sesame seeds

Method:

1. Spray slow cooker with cooking spray.

2. Season both sides of chicken with lightly with salt and pepper, and place in the bottom of slow cooker.

3. In a small bowl, add honey, soy sauce, onion, ketchup, oil, garlic and pepper flakes and stir until well combined. Pour over chicken.

4. Cook on low for 3-4 hours, or just until chicken is cooked through.

5. Remove chicken from crock pot, leave sauce. Dissolve 4 teaspoons of cornstarch in 6 tablespoons of water and pour into crock pot. Stir to combine with sauce.

6. Replace lid and cook sauce on high for ten more minutes or until slightly thickened.

7. Cut chicken into bite size pieces, then return to pot and toss with sauce before serving.

8. Sprinkle with sesame seeds and serve over rice or noodles.

ENJOY!

Ella's 8 month update

Oh yes...it's that time again. These seem to come around far too quickly for my liking.

Ella is now 8 months old and we are pushing dangerously close to that one year milestone. I can't quite get my head around the fact that in four months I will have a one year old and I know I seem to repeat this over and over again but, where did my little baby go? Just thinking about it makes me want to burst into tears and sob into her little newborn baby onesie.

I am: 8 Months old

I weigh: 8.75ks (At my 7 month weigh in)

I am: 72cm long

75th percentile for weight and 98th percentile for height

I am: 

- Eating three meals a day

- On four bottles a day

- Sleeping 6.30pm to 7.30am

- Having 3 naps of 30 mins to an hour during the day

- Still not crawling, nor am I interested in crawling really. Although I am trying to get on my hands and knees. If I am really interested in going somewhere I will just roll there.

I love:

- Food, particularly mashed foods. 

- Most fruit and veggies, beef, chicken and pork, cheese, yoghurt, vegemite and cheese sandwiches, peanut butter, vegetable fritters, sweetcorn fritters, frittata, eggs, rice rusks, bolognaise and pasta, cous cous.

- When Mum sings to me.

- Animals, especially the cats, dogs and calves.

- Everyone!

- Going out and about.

- Swimming.

- My Mummy and Daddy.