Wednesday, 30 September 2015

It's not all bad...

I think I forget sometimes that I do have people that actually read my blog. I started this blog as an outlet for my thoughts, often, my frustrations and as a place to document my journey as a new Mum. 

One of the other reasons I started blogging was because I found there was a lack of honest and transparent opinions on parenting and the daily struggles parents face - but all too often don't share or admit to. This can lead to a somewhat blinkered view of what it's like to be a Mum when the reality is often quite different and even more so with social media these days where we only show the good and often not the "bad". That was certainly my view on what it would be like to have a baby and how it all just seemed so perfect and so lovely. Boy, did I get a wake up call.

I wanted to be HONEST and transparent. I wanted to be myself and not like I was trying to be this perfect Mother that wasn't flawed or who didn't struggle some days - that's not reality after all. It's ok to struggle, it's ok to cry and it's certainly ok to not be perfect. 

My goal was to share my experiences, the learning curves and the ups and downs of Motherhood, so that other Mum's might feel like they weren't alone, like they aren't the only ones going through those normal day-to-day struggles. To maybe help remind them that perfection doesn't exist, at least not in reality (on Facebook perhaps but we all know social media portrays an unrealistic image of our lives) you can't expect that it's always going to be rosy and perfect and you certainly can't be expected to be happy and chirpy all the time.

I think sometimes maybe I've achieved my blogging goal too much perhaps? Am I being too honest? Or sometimes my posts come across as being too negative? It's not my intention at all.

In all honestly though. Those slightly ranty blog posts are just the tiniest snapshot in my life because the reality is that any shitty day or bad moment that I may happen to go through is COMPLETELY and utterly forgotten when Ella grins at me, or giggles, or grabs my face with her little claws and sucks on my cheek. The tug on the heart strings when she wants ME her Mum - the person that helped create her and gave her life. The amazing moments far outweigh any tantrums or grizzly days. It's the most fulfilling role I've ever taken on, it's a privilege and a gift.

Becoming a Mother is like becoming a new person. It's becoming a better, more fulfilled person. Your life is not over, it's just altered slightly to accommodate these little people for whom you would do anything and everything for. Yea, it's tough but you're built for it and you just get on with because each day is a new one. 

It's true you don't know what it's like to be a Mother until you become one but when you do - you learn, you change, you grow, you adapt and you find out that you're stronger than you could have ever have imagined. The journey is amazing and 100% worth it!

Just remember, it's ok to have a bad day - it's normal - it's ok to cry, it's ok to wish for some time to yourself in a day that never seems to end, it's ok to not have all your shit together or to have a tidy house and it's ok to not "like" your child on the odd occasion because it definitely doesn't mean you don't love them any less it just means you're human - and we can't always like everyone! 

So, in future when you see my ranting and raving - remember, it's just a snapshot moment in a normal, fulfilling and eventful life full of ups and downs, the highs and lows that we all experience but I just document!

Being a Mum is the best thing I've ever done and she is without a doubt my greatest achievement!

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Saturday, 26 September 2015

Motherhood, what I didn't expect

When you become a Mum everything changes and I mean EVERYTHING. The way you think, the way you react to things and situations, the way you look and the way you act. These are some of the things I didn't anticipate changing after I had my baby. I can now look back on myself slightly bemused and at the same time amused with my rose tinted thoughts on parenting.

There are so many things I didn't know or expect when it comes to being a Parent. Let's just say becoming a Mother was a serious eye-opener for me and every day continues to be a journey!

Here are just a FEW of things I didn't expect when I became a Mother...

1. My body - I just assumed that after I had my baby I would be one of those Mums whose bodies would just bounce back straight away and I would look like my fabulously toned self - not straightaway of course but a few months after. Sure, I've lost the baby weight but what I didn't anticipate was that I'd be left with a stomach that is saggy and stretch marked beyond recognition. Yes, thanks to my beautifully big baby I was left with a tonne of stretch marks that will fade in time - but will never go away - and excess skin that will unfortunately never return to it's firm and tight former glory. Call me shallow but it makes me sad in a way that I never anticipated. I love my baby absolutely and I would never EVER change a thing but this is one thing that for me will take a long time to come to terms with, that my body will never really be my own nor the same again - especially when we have more kids.

2. Extreme tiredness - Ok, obviously being tired comes with the territory of having a baby - although, I think "tired" is putting it lightly, complete and utter exhaustion is probably more fitting. For us though, we were VERY lucky with the fact that Ella slept through from four months and is still sleeping through. What I didn't know though is that it seems to me that no matter how much sleep I get I am still absolutely exhausted by the end of the day and tired when I wake up in the morning. I think it's just the fact that there is no break from Mothering and you always constantly have to be on the go trying to keep them entertained or kept them fed and bathed etc. Mothering is a full time job that is definitely not recognised as being one.

3. My brain - Everyone jokes about suffering from baby brain but it's real, the baby brain struggle is REAL. It's the fact that my mind is filled with list upon list of things I need to get done in order for us to get through each day with some sort of routinely order, like - how much washing have I got left? is there enough food in the house? what am I going to feed Ella for the next week? what am I going to feed myself for the next week? when is she due a feed? what day did she last get bathed? come to think of it, when did I last shower? when is she going to run out of formula or nappies? THE LIST IS ENDLESS. So when It comes to trying to remember simple things such as where did I put my keys? or what did I walk into the kitchen for? There is just not enough brain capacity left to make room for those.

4. My appearance - Oh yes, my appearance! Gone are the days where I spent hours getting ready, painstakingly applying my eyeshadow or curling my hair - just for an outing to the supermarket. Never would I have been seen in my sloppiest clothes in town. These days though, i'm lucky if I can brush my hair or even shower somedays! Any spare time that I get is allocated to trying to do the washing or wash the dishes not primping or preening in order to leave the house. Priorities change BIG TIME when you become a Mum, your baby becomes your number one priority and everything else becomes unimportant.

5. My emotions - I never used to be an emotional person. It took alot to make me cry. These days though even a slightly sad movie, song or even advertisement can evoke a tear. It doesn't just stop there though, even just thinking about something sad or a sad song can turn my into a soppy mess. What's even worse is seeing the numerous sad posts on Facebook about children or animals - now that really gets me going! Moral of the story? Having a child turns you to mush! 

6. Guilt - Mummy guilt, it speaks for itself really but I never realised the amount of irrational guilt one person could experience and so often! Every decision made comes with guilt - second guessing myself and whether it was the right or wrong decision, like is she getting all the things she needs from me? Is she getting enough stimulation? Is she getting enough food or enough fluids? Is she getting the right foods? Is she meeting her milestones or developing properly? Are her teeth coming down straight? Am I letting her learn in her own time or am I doing too much for her? It's constant. A constant stream of questioning myself and EVERYTHING I do where she is concerned. Unfortunately, I foresee that it's never going to ease up, it'll always be there because we are always going to want to do what's best for them whether they are 2 or 20, I don't think that Mothering instinct will ever go away.  

There you have it. What did you learn about yourself when you first became a Mother?

P.S - For some reason most of my blog posts always seem to come across as warnings for expectant Mothers - I promise I'm not doing this on purpose - it's not my intent, but for those of you who like an HONEST opinion on what Mothering a child in the first year of it's life is really like then I hope my posts are of some use to you.

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Wednesday, 23 September 2015

ABC Facts about me #OSblog

I saw this posted in my Kiwi Mummy Bloggers Facebook group - basically a private group of all the Mummy bloggers in New Zealand - by Charlene from Teacher by Trade, Mother by Nature and I asked her if I could copy her idea as I was lacking ideas for blog posts tonight, she didn't mind so here it is the ABC facts about me!

This is part of a link up for #OSblog, in other words Old School Blog, hosted by Miss Elaine - eous Life. I love all these quiz type, answering thingys so here goes...

A- Age: 25 (soon to be 26)

B- Biggest Fear: Heights, bugs, small spaces - quite a few really.

C- Current Time: 6.25pm

D- Drink you last had: Hot Chocolate

E- Easiest Person To Talk to: My Husband - most of the time haha

F- Favourite Song: I don't really have a specific favourite song as it changes constantly. Currently I am loving Taylor Swift's Wildest Dreams and Purple by Six60.

G- Grossest Memory: Would be very recently. A Mummy fail if you will. I decided to put Ella down for her nap in just a t-shirt and nappy, not thinking much of it. Later on, when it sounded like she had woken up I went in and discovered her lying on her tummy with her nappy half off... in her own poo!!! It was every where! All over her legs, up the bars of her cot and on her sheets. I will NOT be doing that again now that I know she is capable of pulling her nappy off! FAIL.

H- Hometown: Papakura, South Auckland.

I- In love with: My husband and my baby girl of course!

J- Jealous Of: "Insta Mums" You know the ones. Perfectly made up, manicured nails, immaculately decorated, clean and chic homes.

K- Killed Someone? No

L- Longest Relationship: My current one. We have been together for almost 7 years and married for 4 in December.

Fresh faced and the on trip we got engaged over 5 years ago.

M- Middle Name: Louise, sorry Mum and Dad but I can't say I am keen on your choice of names.

N- Number of Siblings: One other younger sister.

O- One Wish: To somehow rid the world of animal abuse and poaching.

P- Person who you last called: My husband who is away at the moment.

Q- Question you’re always asked: Is Ella crawling yet? Haha

R- Reason to smile: I get to wake up to my little girl every morning who always greets me with the biggest smile! My Husband who loves me unconditionally and my family and friends who offer their continual love and support.

S- Song you last sang: Justin Timberlake's Dead and gone, Ella thoroughly enjoyed it.

T- Time you woke up: 7.30am

U- Underwear Color: Skin coloured

V- Vacation Destination: Capri, Sorrento or Venice in Italy and Cyprus in Greece.

W- Worst Habit: Cracking my knuckles!

X- X-rays you’ve had: Knees and foot. I have really bad knees and I dislocate them frequently - it hurts like crazy - and my foot when a horse jumped on it.

Y- Your favorite food: Italian food

Z- Zodiac Sign: Libra - 
Libras are the diplomat of the zodiac. They are able to put themselves in other's shoes and see things through another person's point of view. They are the ones that always want to make things right and have balance and harmony in their life, their surroundings and the lives of the people close to them. They have captivating charm, elegant taste and they are easy to like due to their eager-to-please, easygoing nature. In return for a Libra's amazing ability to be a good listener, sooth and calm people, they expect admiration. Libras will gather a group of people, everyone will become friends then the Libra will be in the center of the group. They like the attention and the admiration for the people that they have brought together. Libras are very intelligent, they often hide this inside their easygoing exterior. They express their intelligence through creativity, most are involved in some sort of artistic or creative pursuit. Many people overlook just how intelligent a Libra actually is. When others see a Libras wide range of interests and hobbies, their intelligence and creativity is more then obvious. Libras love variety and different situations. They welcome change. Libras love luxury. They will spend lots of money and surround themselves with beautiful things and they seem to be constantly fussing over their appearance. They love anything upscale and classy. Libras work hard to please others, this they do an others find them incredibly captivating. 

There you have it the ABC facts about me!

Here is a blank list of questions for you to answer if you fancy doing this too.

A- Age: 
B- Biggest Fear:
C- Current Time:
D- Drink you last had: 
E- Easiest Person To Talk to: 
F- Favourite Song:
G- Grossest Memory: 
H- Hometown: 
I- In love with:
J- Jealous Of: 
K- Killed Someone? 
L- Longest Relationship: 
M- Middle Name:
N- Number of Siblings: 
O- One Wish: 
P- Person who you last called: 
Q- Question you’re always asked:
R- Reason to smile: 
S- Song you last sang:
T- Time you woke up: 
U- Underwear Color: 
V- Vacation Destination: 
W- Worst Habit: 
X- X-rays you’ve had: 
Y- Your favorite food: 
Z- Zodiac Sign:

Monday, 21 September 2015

What Ella eats in a week

Now that Ella is eating her weight in food I thought I might share with you what she eats in a typical week - an Ella menu plan so to speak. 

She is still getting three bottles a day morning, noon and night - although it is becoming more of a struggle to get her to drink enough of what she should be per day. She's roughly drinking 550mls of formula per day.

She has three solids meals per day and occasionally a snack in between if she's really hungry but usually just breakfast, lunch and dinner. I've almost stopped giving her pureed foods as she doesn't really like me spoon feeding her anymore - she'd rather feed herself - she's basically just getting whole foods or slightly chopped or mashed. She normally eats everything I give her and I'm pretty sure if I kept offering her food she'd just keep eating - you don't get to be 10 kilos at 9 months without eating a tonne haha

So, here is what Ella eats...


Breakfast - Fruit with one weetbix and cinnamon
Lunch - Half a banana, a couple slices of cheese,  a yogurt, a bowl of scrambled egg and a baby Mum mums rice rusk.
Dinner - Spaghetti Bolognese (I used penne pasta)


Breakfast - Porridge with fruit
Lunch - A vegemite sandwich, half a kiwi fruit, a couple of crackers

Dinner - Mashed potato and carrots with cauliflower and broccoli in a cheese sauce.


Breakfast - Peanut butter on toast and a banana
Lunch - A few cherry tomatoes (cut into quarters), kiwi fruit and a potato and cheese frittata
Dinner - Roast Chicken, mashed potatoes and mixed veggies.


Breakfast - A pouch of only organic pear, peach and apple baby food.
Lunch - At Nana's house (while I was at work)
Dinner - Couscous with a roasted capsicum, onion, garlic and tomato sauce.


Breakfast - Weetbix with cinnamon and fruit
Lunch - Pineapple and kiwi fruit pieces, a rice rusk and a yogurt

Dinner - Mince with mashed carrot and potato


Breakfast - Porridge with fruit
Lunch - Homemade ham and cheese pizza, half a banana, half a kiwi fruit and a rice rusk
Dinner - Creamy, garlic pasta with cherry tomatoes


Breakfast - Fruit with baby muesli

Lunch - Kiwi fruit, pineapple, grapes, tomato and a yogurt
Dinner - Omelette with cherry tomatoes, cheese and mixed veggies


Breakfast - Pancakes and mandarin segments
Lunch - Wholemeal garlic pita bread, banana, a yogurt and apple crackers.
Dinner - Mince bolognese with mashed carrot and potato.

So, there you have it Ella's meal plan for the week. I try and change it up most days but as you can see there are double ups of different foods, because sometimes there is just no time to make food from scratch.  I give her meat 4 or 5 times a week to make sure she is getting enough iron from her diet.

I'm always on the lookout for new, tasty meal ideas. What's a favourite in your household?

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Tuesday, 15 September 2015

You know you're a Mum when... Part 3

I don't think I need to give much introduction to today's blog post considering as this is part 3, so without further ado here is "You know you're a Mum when..." 

1. You're so sick of your hair being pulled it's either permanently pulled into a bun, a ponytail or you just cut it all off.

2. Your nose is frequently scratched due to those little razor blades on the end of your child's hands - no matter how many times you clip them.

3. You NEVER see the bottom of your laundry basket - like EVER - and you dream about those days before children when you thought two loads of washing a week was bad let alone one or two every DAMN day.

4. You've got a billion tiny little baby socks but you can never ever find a matching pair.

5. Your house is never 100% clean, no matter how hard you try it just never seems to get finished! No sooner have you washed all the dishes and tidied the living room there is suddenly more dishes and more mess.

6. Your baby eats better than you do. You spend hours lovingly preparing delicious homemade baby foods for your little cherub so that by the time you've finished you're so exhausted all you can be bothered cooking for yourself - is toast.

7. You're ears seem to have a constant ringing with the sounds of baby squealing and screaming.

8. You seem to sing the same few nursery rhymes on REPEAT. There is only so many times you can sing "row, row, row your boat" or "the wheels on the bus" before you start to go a bit loopy.

9. Online shopping is considered to be entertainment these days. Not actual purchasing, just adding to the cart and then closing the window because you've added about $300 worth of stuff you REALLY want but don't actually need.

There  you have it, the latest installment of "you know you're a Mum when..."

Hit me with your best "Mummy-isms"!

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Sunday, 13 September 2015

Mummy advice

 I did one of these way back when Ella was only a couple of months old, now that she's approaching 10 months I feel like there are a few more things I've learnt over the past while that may be of use to other parents.

As I said in the last "advice" post I am by no means an expert I am just a Mum muddling along on the parenthood journey who wants to share a few of the things I have learnt along the way.

1. Don't compare your baby to others  

As I currently have a baby that is still not crawling, unlike others her age, I find it really hard to not compare her with what other babies are doing. I find myself feeling really on edge about the fact that she's not and the need to defend myself and her when I get asked if she is or not. This is ridiculous! There is nothing wrong with her or the fact that she is not crawling - it doesn't make her slow, delayed or LAZY it just means that she's not quite ready yet and in time, hopefully, she will. Moral of the story? all babies are different, don't compare yours to others and just like us as adults they do their own things in their own time.

2. Baby milestones are guidelines not law

You cannot group all babies into the same category. It just doesn't work. Each baby is an individual and develops in their own time. Milestones should not be taken literally. If your baby is not crawling at 10 months or not rolling over at 6 months doesn't mean they won't - they will, but in their own time!

3. Don't feel guilty for feeding your baby store bought baby food

Totally. Store bought food is not BAD for your baby. They wouldn't be able to sell it if it was. If you don't have time to slave away in the kitchen making homemade baby food, then don't feel guilty if you can't! At the end of the day as long as your baby is being fed and nourished, then that's all that matters,

4. Don't feel guilty for using the t.v or a jolly jumper as an occasional babysitter.

Yes, I admit, I do this on occasion. Sometimes, you just have to go to the toilet or make a sandwich and if you have a baby that doesn't like you leaving the room then this is one of the ways to keep them momentarily distracted while you get things done!

5. Join a group or class specifically for babies.

Ella and I go to "Wriggle and rhyme" every week - she loves it! If you feel like you need an outing or social interaction - with other Mums - then what better way to make friends or keep your baby entertained by joining a group such as Mainly Music, SPACE or Wriggle and Rhyme.

6. Go easy on yourself!

Bit of a vague statement but what I mean is don't make yourself feel guilty for any decisions you make and don't second guess yourself. I know how bad Mummy guilt can be and I don't know how often I've questioned whether I'm doing the right thing or if I'm doing the best for Ella. At the end of the day if your baby is healthy and happy then that you must be doing something right!

7. Take time for yourself.

When baby is asleep and you're tossing up between cleaning the house of having a break. Have a break! The house cleaning can wait, it's so important just to relax - when you always have to be "on" you need to chill out when you get to be "off"!

So, there you have it! A few more "words of wisdom" from me.

What is one piece of advice you would give to other Mums?

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Friday, 11 September 2015

Baby sensory activities - Part 1 - No mess finger painting!

I've seen a tonne of these different sensory activities for babies on Pinterest and I really wanted to give them a go, now that Ella is getting older - but still not mobile, other than rolling everywhere -it's getting harder to keep her entertained so some of these activities will hopefully offer her the stimulation that babies of her age increasingly need on a daily basis.

I've decided to turn this into a five part series to try out a selection of sensory activities from Pinterest.

Here is part one!

Let me know if you give this a go, I would love to see your pictures! You can tag me on Facebook or on Instagram @akiwimumma.

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Tuesday, 8 September 2015

My hope for the future - 7 things I hope will happen in the next 10 years #Tuesday10

I'm back again this week with a link up post to the #Tuesday10 link up party. This weeks blog topic is "things I hope will change (or not) in the next 10 years", I slightly adjusted this to things I hope for in my future.

Here it is...

1.  I hope that Ella will continue to grow, learn and develop into a smart, respectful, beautiful little person. 10 years from now Ella will be almost 11 years old - which means I will be almost 36 *gasp*. It's crazy to think about the future 10 years down the track and wonder what life will be like. All I can hope is that we can continue to parent her in a way which helps her to become the best possible human she can be and one that has respect for herself and the people around her.

2. That we will be blessed enough to provide Ella with another sibling (or maybe two). We are so lucky to be parents to a beautiful little girl and I would like nothing more then to add to our family in the near future.

3. That we will be fortunate enough to own our own home in a beautiful part of New Zealand.

4. That I can establish myself as someone not only as Mummy but as a person with my own ambitions and dreams. To find my feet and grow my business, whether that be the Kiwi Mumma blog or my make-up business - or both, who knows!

5. I hope for my husband to have a long, successful and fulfilling career.

6. I hope the world that Ella grows up in will learn to not be so obsessed with things that aren't so important - looks, wealth and social standing etc - but learn to cherish the things that are. This is not going to happen in the next ten years but I hope she, herself, will understand the important things in life.

7. I wish all of my family to live long, healthy and happy lives.

8. I hope to be surrounded by all the people that care about me and to meet new people who will become a part of our lives - wherever we may end up!

A bit corny but I've been thinking a lot recently about what the future will bring us - with the news of us relocating.

If these are the only things that happen to us over the next 10 years, then I can feel very blessed.

What is the ONE thing you hope for in your future?

The Golden Spoons

This post is part of the Tuesday 10 Link Party.

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Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Ella's 9 month update

Helloooooooo! Remember me? 

Yes, I am back. Finally. Things have been crazy over the past couple of weeks with me getting the hang of being, basically, a single parent. I feel like things are going alright so far and it helps that Ella has been pretty angelic over the past few days or so - with the exception of today might I add. We are flying down to Christchurch on Friday to spend the weekend with Tom - which happens to coincide with Father's Day - I will hopefully blog about what we get up to down there. I am so looking forward to this trip!

Yesterday, Ella was officially 9 months old which means we are three quarters of the way through her first year of life and counting down to that fast approaching one year milestone!

I weigh - 9.75kg (91st percentile)
I measure - 74cm long (91st percentile)
My head measures - 53cm (50th percentile)

I am:

- Eating three meals a day, sometimes with snacks in between.
- Having three bottles per day (down from four) morning, noon and before bed.
- Still sleeping twelve hours
- Not crawling still. I don't crawl, I roll! I can get onto my hands and knees but that's as far as it goes.
- I have just finished leap 6 - categories.
- I am starting to wave at people.
- I can occasionally clap my hands.
- I talk a lot! Mamamama, Dadadada, Nanananana, Bababababa.
- I can copy what Mummy says to me sometimes. For example, if she says Mamama or Dadadada - I can say it back.
- I have two teeth, which I didn't enjoy getting!

I love - 

- My family
- The cats and dog, I love to try and touch them - they won't let me though!
- Food! 
- Cheese and Yoghurt are my favourites.
- Playing in my walker.
- Talking to my reflection.
- When songs are sung to me.

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