It's been a long while since I sat down in front of my computer and started to write, in fact it's only been a month or two but it feels like a lifetime and few things have changed since then.
Now, I feel like it's a good time for me to get back into the blogging world, I do miss it because when I was in the "zone" I enjoyed writing. I enjoyed putting my thoughts and feelings down on paper - it was a great outlet for my thoughts when my head was getting a bit too "cluttered" - as it is most days really.
As I was saying a lot has happened in the short time i've been "offline" so I think it's only fair, before I launch into general blog content, I fill you in.
Firstly, Ella and I have officially packed up and moved to Christchurch. We packed up everything we could fit into a borrowed van and moved down to Christchurch where we are living in a temporary rental until we can secure a more permanent place to live.
One of the main reasons why we made the move earlier than anticipated was because I was really struggling to cope on my own - having spent six months solo parenting, only seeing my Husband every three weeks or so. Whilst struggling to cope with solo parenting I had a lot of other personal issues going on, not just, with myself but within my family.
So, from trying to parent Ella, to trying to keep up with household jobs, to extreme tiredness, to family issues it was all becoming too much and it had got to the point where I needed help, before things got worse and before I ended up having a break down - that was seriously where I thought I was headed. I needed to talk things over with someone, to clear my head when it felt like I had a permanent haze hanging over me. I sought help through my GP and luckily I was able to have funded counselling sessions to help me get back on track.
While all this was going on blogging (and rightly so) took a back seat, my mind was a haze so how could I keep trotting out original, decent material?
I feel at this point now, I'm starting to get back to normal, I'm feeling more in control - partially thanks to having our family back together, but also in thanks to having offloaded a couple of years worth of baggage onto someone who can help me make sense of whats gone on.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still tired - there hasn't been a time when I haven't felt at least a little bit tired since becoming a parent, but I'm sure you can all relate? There are still times where I struggle, but I've discovered that's normal, that's real life. We can't be expected to always have our shit together nor can we be expected to always be chirpy and happy, life just isn't like that and if anything it's taught me that life is full of up's and down's - it's just a matter of taking each day as it comes and getting through it.
My head is now feeling clearer and Ella, myself and my Husband are all back together living under one roof as a family - now we're embarking on new adventures (in more ways than one) in Christchurch and I feel like I may have a few bits of new material up my sleeve - mainly in thanks to now having a fully fledged, walking and tantruming toddler!
Yes, that's right my beautiful little Ella, the one who inspired this blog is now a walking, babbling toddler already suffering from early onset of the "terrible twos"!
This part of my life, and Ella's life, is a WHOLE new journey and a fresh set of challenges. Just when you think you've got it sorted... then BOOM toddlerhood rears it's (very) ugly head and you're thrown in the deep end once more.
So, thanks to my lovely baby who is no longer a baby, over the next few weeks/months/years I am gaining a fresh set of experiences and observations to share with you as a (slightly) bewildered, tired, exasperated Mother to a 15 month old - who finds herself sighing more frequently and looking increasingly more dishevelled than ever before!
On another note - how the hell do I have a 15 month old? Also, I take back what I said about newborn being the hardest stage, NUH UH this is whole new ball game! Give me strength.
So, my precious readers, those that have continued to stay with me throughout my "disappearance" I'm hoping you will find that the sarcastic, dry sense of humour in me is back and better than ever!
I hope you'll continue to follow me on my Motherhood journey and thanks for "hanging" in there while I took a much needed break.
So, from trying to parent Ella, to trying to keep up with household jobs, to extreme tiredness, to family issues it was all becoming too much and it had got to the point where I needed help, before things got worse and before I ended up having a break down - that was seriously where I thought I was headed. I needed to talk things over with someone, to clear my head when it felt like I had a permanent haze hanging over me. I sought help through my GP and luckily I was able to have funded counselling sessions to help me get back on track.
While all this was going on blogging (and rightly so) took a back seat, my mind was a haze so how could I keep trotting out original, decent material?
I feel at this point now, I'm starting to get back to normal, I'm feeling more in control - partially thanks to having our family back together, but also in thanks to having offloaded a couple of years worth of baggage onto someone who can help me make sense of whats gone on.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still tired - there hasn't been a time when I haven't felt at least a little bit tired since becoming a parent, but I'm sure you can all relate? There are still times where I struggle, but I've discovered that's normal, that's real life. We can't be expected to always have our shit together nor can we be expected to always be chirpy and happy, life just isn't like that and if anything it's taught me that life is full of up's and down's - it's just a matter of taking each day as it comes and getting through it.
My head is now feeling clearer and Ella, myself and my Husband are all back together living under one roof as a family - now we're embarking on new adventures (in more ways than one) in Christchurch and I feel like I may have a few bits of new material up my sleeve - mainly in thanks to now having a fully fledged, walking and tantruming toddler!
Yes, that's right my beautiful little Ella, the one who inspired this blog is now a walking, babbling toddler already suffering from early onset of the "terrible twos"!
This part of my life, and Ella's life, is a WHOLE new journey and a fresh set of challenges. Just when you think you've got it sorted... then BOOM toddlerhood rears it's (very) ugly head and you're thrown in the deep end once more.
So, thanks to my lovely baby who is no longer a baby, over the next few weeks/months/years I am gaining a fresh set of experiences and observations to share with you as a (slightly) bewildered, tired, exasperated Mother to a 15 month old - who finds herself sighing more frequently and looking increasingly more dishevelled than ever before!
On another note - how the hell do I have a 15 month old? Also, I take back what I said about newborn being the hardest stage, NUH UH this is whole new ball game! Give me strength.
So, my precious readers, those that have continued to stay with me throughout my "disappearance" I'm hoping you will find that the sarcastic, dry sense of humour in me is back and better than ever!
I hope you'll continue to follow me on my Motherhood journey and thanks for "hanging" in there while I took a much needed break.
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