Thursday 19 March 2015

Memories of my former self

Now that I'm a Mum, I sometimes forget who I was before. It's not a bad thing, it's natural to adapt and change when you become a parent. I actually find it quite amusing to see I've become the person I swore I never would. It's almost hard to remember what my life was like before I had her, it's only been 4 months but already my life has changed hugely.

I've made a few comparisons between my former self and the person I have now. Let me know if you can relate.

1. Referring to myself as Mummy - I. JUST. CAN'T. STOP. It's a problem. I don't even know when i'm doing it. I'm pretty sure, though, it's more often than not. I don't know when I suddenly lost the ability to talk in the first person rather than the third, but apparently that's the only way to talk these days. Not only do  I refer to myself as Mummy but I refer to everyone else by their chosen titles i.e Daddy, Nana, Granddad etc. Gone are the days where I actual have an identity other than mummy. That's ok though, I like being Mummy. But then again I don't have a little person yet, that constantly screams Mummy at me, I can imagine it could get a bit tiring.

2.  Memory Malfunctions - Pre-baby. on occasion I was jokingly called "Mega Memory" I had the ability to memorise all sorts of useless pieces of information. Post-baby? I'm lucky if I can remember the day of the week. I also forget what I'm doing, I walk into a room and can't remember why I went there or what for. I also find myself doing stupid things, like picking up a pen to peel the potatoes instead of the potato peeler or wandering aimlessly around the Supermarket because I've forgotten what I went in for.

3. Appearances - Before baby I used to put on make-up just to go into town or to do the groceries. I had all the time in the world to fluff around with my hair and my face, even then I still managed to be late! I was big on appearances and hated being seen without make-up. Fast forward a few months or so and I still can't stand being seen without make-up but I just don't have the time nor the energy to make the effort. It's a miracle these days if I manage to take a shower un-interrupted, shave my legs or to eat lunch. Oh how times have changed.

4. Leisurely lunches and dinners - Oh the simple things in life get harder post baby. Gone are the days where you could take your time over lunch or dinner. These days it's "lets play pass the baby", where one of you scoffs your meal down whilst the other placates the baby and then switch. Repeat where necessary. Mealtimes also tend to change, lunch becomes anywhere from 2 - 4 and dinner is more like 8 or 9 at night.

5. Sleep - This is a fairly obvious one. Forget sleep ins, forget even full nights of sleep. Pre-baby, if there was a competition for sleeping in I'd have won it. These days though it's quite a different story.

6. Cluttering news feeds with baby pictures and status updates - These days the subject of my Facebook updates, Instagram posts and tweets are all baby related. I'm sure I must be annoying the crap out of people but I just can't help it! I remember thinking, before child, I must not become one of those Mum's that only ever post pictures of their children or constant updates about them. Not that there is anything wrong with that - I was very naive before baby - I just wanted my life to still exist as per normal little did I know that now my life would revolve around her.

7. Conversation - These days I mainly socialise with other parents and so, naturally the conversation always revolves around our babies. From sleep cycles to bowel movements and everything in between. Gone are the days of talking about normal everyday things. My conversations will be forever filled with discussions about babies.

8. Excitement over bowel movements - Yes, you read right. When I introduced Ella to formula her bowel movements weren't regular and she went for three days without anything, the days following were spent waiting for her to do number twos and trying to encourage her bowels to move. It even got to the point where Hubby would get home and asked if she'd done a poo yet. Really? That's our hot topic of conversation now. If you'd told me a couple of years ago that I would get excited about a bowel movement I would have laughed in your face.

9. Talking about my baby - CONSTANTLY - I just can't help myself, I know I'm doing it but I can't stop myself. My world revolves around her and I need to tell everyone about it and her baby milestones. I'm so overwhelmed with love for her and so damn proud of what we created that I just have to share it. Whether you want to hear it or not. Take this blog for example it revolves entirely around her!

My life has changed in such a massive way and in doing so I have too. I wouldn't change anything or go back, I achieved most of what I wanted before having her and feel like I was completely ready for that change. I don't miss my former self or the life I had before because I feel completely fulfilled. Sure, I miss my sleep, being able to shower on a regular basis or have leisurely lunches but she's so 100% percent worth it . From the little giggle, to the cheeky smile, those dimpled chubby cheeks and everything in-between makes me so happy and complete that I don't know where I would be without her!

She melts my heart.

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